BeanQuest

July 7, 2008

Public Service Announcement

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 7:45 pm

Just popping back in to alert you of the recall of a dangerous product which is behaving in completely unpredictable ways.

It seems that the Black Cat people, who make fireworks, have released a product that, uh, well, here’s how the CPSC put it: “The firework can produce a loud bang and unexpectedly scatter debris, posing an injury hazard to the user and bystanders.”

I know you wouldn’t expect that from fireworks, so, after you light the fuse, you should get away. They should put something like that on the label.

Here’s all the details.

What’s the world coming to. Fireworks that explode. Loudly.

Disgraceful.

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April 9, 2008

Killer Eggs

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 8:33 pm

Six eggs a week is fine, but that seventh one will kill you.

The article opens with, “Middle-aged men who ate seven or more eggs a week had a higher risk of earlier death, U.S. researchers reported on Wednesday.”

…and closes with this:

Men who ate the most eggs also were older, fatter, ate more vegetables but less breakfast cereal, and were more likely to drink alcohol, smoke and less likely to exercise — all factors that can affect the risk of heart attack and death.

Pay no attention to the old, fat, out of shape, no exercise part. It’s the eggs. Egg number seven, specifically.

April 7, 2008

Turning Left is a Privilege, not a Right

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 8:41 pm

Fellow drivers:

I know you’re just trying to be polite, but may I point out that, in certain cases, doing what’s expected and agreed-upon is a higher good than doing what might otherwise be more polite?

Case in point: you’re driving straight across an intersection, and someone coming the opposite direction wants to turn left across your lane.

You’re going straight. You’re going straight. GO!

The left-turning person will inch forward as you pass and then go behind you.

That’s the rule we all learned in driver’s ed in America. The car making the left turn never has the right-of-way. Apart from being a good rule, in that it allows for more cars to cross an intersection in a shorter period of time, it’s the rule everyone knows! is supposed to know!

It’s nice that you want to be nice, but making up your own rules at the four-way stop isn’t the place for it.

Thank your grocery clerk and mean it. Be patient when the waitress doesn’t refill your water glass immediately. On your girlfriend’s birthday, buy flowers for her mother. (seriously, try that one.) But please, do not stop in the middle of the road so you can have an extended gestural conversation with someone who just wants to get home after you get out of his way.

I want one of those semiautomatic suction cup dart guns, and I want a ticket issued to anyone with more than two darts stuck to their car at the end of the day. Not a fine: traffic school.

Here in Ohio, there are a few people who know the rules, and the rest seem to try to out-yield each other.

March 13, 2008

A Public Service Announcement

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 8:46 pm

I’d never had this called to my attention in quite this way before. Figuring I’m not the only one, I thought you could all benefit from seeing it as well.

hot fireplace

Curiously enough, this sign alone omitted the braille equivalent.

February 20, 2008

It’s Perfectly Clear Out

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 8:38 pm

…for the eclipse tonight!

Eclipse

February 11, 2008

For All Your Needs

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 7:05 pm

Their emphasis is on “all”.

Need a hand moving that refrigerator? A cool drink? A sense of purpose?

White glue’s just the thing.

glue for all your needs

Cashless ATM?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 2:46 pm

What’s the point of a cashless ATM?

There’s a sign in the window of a storefront nearby, and it says, “Cashless ATM Inside.” It’s a government storefront (Bureau of Motor Vehicles) so I doubt it’s a joke…

I’ve got to be missing something … what’s the point of a cashless ATM?

January 31, 2008

Messier than Mine

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 8:13 pm

This car was almost completely full of garbage. There was – literally – a pocket carved out for the driver and that’s all.

Impressive collection in there.

Messier than Mine 2

Messier than Mine 1

December 24, 2007

Golden Stare Down

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 9:29 am

Don Smith, over at Idle Minutes, has a Welsh Corgi named Rosie. She sounds like a great dog. Animated, full of personality, and well-loved by her family.

It’s funny to me how dogs have such distinct personalities, but threads run through them all. Another family’s dog is to them exactly what yours is to you. I guess that’s not at all profound, but it always strikes me. It reminds me that none of us is as unique as we like to think sometimes, and we have more in common than we know.

Anyhow, Rosie reminded me recently of Louis, our 12-year-old border collie mix, in a back-scratching wriggle.

But today, she reminds me of Carla, our late, loved Golden Retriever. Not for the context, this time, but for the pose. Rosie’s at a pause in her play. Carla was just making a new friend. Hop over to Don’s place. The pose is nearly identical.

The dogs. They speak. What a great image, Don.

Carla noses Brown-White

December 4, 2007

Humbugishness

Filed under: pointlessness, Uncategorized — Brian @ 8:24 pm

Meme-ery from Jim – who renamed it from “Stuff I Hate About the Holidays” and, for reasons undisclosed, removed number four, which I’ve reinstated.

1) dessert/cookie/family food: Hmm. A food I hate. A holiday food I hate… I’ll have to get back to you, on this one.

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc…). I’ll second the crime of fruity beers. Ugh.

3) tradition (church, family, other). Shopping.

4) Decoration: Anything inflatable.

5) gift (received or given). Socks. Plain white gym socks. (Without making it out to be more than it was, my mom wanted to be sure we had lots of stuff to open, so sometimes we’d get things under the tree that we’d normally get in the laundry basket. She’s sweet that way.)

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it.. EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! by halfway through the month. It’s the month for books on CD in the car. Though, I gotta say I love feliz navidad. Not for the song so much as for hearing someone say, “prospero año,” which I wish we’d say instead of “happy new year.” It sounds so much better.

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