BeanQuest

June 13, 2007

Bumper Stickers Are the Answer

Filed under: humor, pointlessness, whatever — Brian @ 7:01 pm

I love bumper stickers. I don’t have any myself, but I love to read the ones on other peoples’ cars and try to figure out what they’re really saying.

Quite a few of them are opposed to something, but don’t offer an alternative, which kind of limits their utility. I know – they’re bumper stickers, not essays – but still. It occurs to me to run around with a pad of post-it notes and leave followup questions on the driver’s window. Sometime, I’ll start doing that.

Here’s one I’ve seen a few times around here: “Well-behaved women rarely make history.”

I don’t know what that means. Women in general rarely make history. Same with men. That’s the whole point – something that “makes history” is by definition rare. So, what do “well behaved women” have to do with anything? It seems to want to imply that poorly-behaved women frequently make history. And so, if you’re a woman who wants to make history, be sure to behave poorly.

Hmm. Now that I write it out, I see the wisdom. Change “make history” out for “make headlines” and it’s unquestionably true. Check the “popular stories” on news.yahoo.com any time for the photographic evidence.

Another one – you’ve seen it – seems to imply an unanswerable question. “War is not the answer.” That’s just teasing. Don’t just say what the answer isn’t. Tell us what it is!

I found out today on a bumper sticker. In white letters on a green background, it said, “Trees are the answer.”

So, there you go. War is not the answer. Trees are the answer.

Next up: what was the question?

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