BeanQuest

October 24, 2006

Ah, Public School…

Filed under: fatherhood — Brian @ 7:36 pm

So I’m tucking my 6 year-old son into bed tonight. I’ve been doing bedtime prayers with him for a few weeks, and I’ve started asking him to come up with things he can either say thanks to God for, or things he might ask God for help with.

He’s struggling with ideas. Tonight he said he’s got nothing to be thankful for. I assured him he had plenty to be thankful for. He insisted otherwise, so I started in on the perennial list of things parents think kids should be thankful for:

“You have a warm bed in your own room to sleep in. You have friends to play with. You’re able to get up and walk around on your own legs, which some kids can’t do. You have a family that loves you…” and he chimes in with “yeah, and no drugs.”

“What?”

“No drugs. We talked about that at school today.”

“Oh. Right. You don’t have a drug problem, and nobody you know does either. That’s something to be thankful for, because drug problems can be pretty awful…”

“No. Someone does.”

“What? Who?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

“What is my drug problem?”

“You drink beer. That has alcohol in it.”

OK. Now I know “kids grow up fast” and all, and most parents are more likely to start talking about sex, drugs and rock-n-roll too late rather than too soon, but let’s follow this through.

The following drugs were discussed in his first grade class today as “drugs,” wherein “drugs” = “bad”: Alcohol, prescriptions, cough medicine (unless you have a cough), and aspirin (unless you have a headache).

No mention of cigarettes.

No mention of street drugs. I asked about a few by name, and he just looked at me puzzled.

Thank you, dear local schools, for teaching my son that an adult having a beer with dinner constitutes a “problem,” but cigarettes and street drugs aren’t worth talking about.

I wonder when they’ll get to the evils of hydrocortisone.

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1 Comment »

  1. Oh! That’s priceless. :-) I too, have an “drug problem” then. Actually, I should not take this lightly because my step-daughters’ mother is a recovering alcoholic, so I get the “you’re an alcoholic too” speech if I dare drink one glass of wine in front of them. But I thought AA had the market on this line of thinking. Good that you’ll be homeschooling soon!

    Comment by gwynne — October 26, 2006 @ 8:04 pm


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