BeanQuest

April 19, 2006

After the funeral

Filed under: Uncategorized — Brian @ 7:11 pm

I’m back from Chicago, back from the wake and the funeral. It was good to be of use to Dave’s parents. They are two incredibly strong people.

I met quite a few of Dave’s friends that I’d heard of, but never met. I was surprised at how many people showed up – but I expected to be surprised about that. The wake was from 3 to 9 on monday (his 33rd birthday) and the line of people never broke. It slacked off a few times, but there was always at least a few people waiting in line.

Dave was into the Renaissance Faire circuit, and helped out a couple singing groups. Two of them came as their groups to the wake, and sang some of his favorite songs at his side. Maggie, from Bounding Main sang solo at the end of the funeral service, in an absolutely beautiful voice, as we walked Dave out of the sanctuary. I don’t recall the words of the song, but it was wonderful to hear. (I then proceeded to give her bad directions to the after-burial gathering, but she made it despite me. One of Dave’s many good friend I was fortunate to meet these past days.)

I’ll have more to say about Dave, here, but for now I want to spend some time with Jennifer. My job was to be there for Dave’s parents. Jennifer’s was to make that possible, so in some ways she’s had the larger burden these past couple days, being away from the ceremony and formality.

I feel like I am as much at peace with this as I will be for the near future. I know Dave’s OK, and I just miss him. But I have some things I can do on his behalf – specifically for his parents, but also for myself and for my family.

I’ve never lost someone so close before. But I think I’m figuring out how to handle it.

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3 Comments »

  1. Brian, I’m happy to hear that this situation hasn’t completely overwhelmed you. I didn’t think it would; you’ve got access to all the power and grace you’ll ever need. But I know that I sometimes forget to claim it.

    Give Jennifer a hug for us. I think you’re right; I’m sure she pulled some tough duty in your absence.

    Comment by Eric — April 19, 2006 @ 10:39 pm

  2. I’m glad you were able to serve at Dave’s funeral. I’m sure your presence was as comforting to his family and friends as theirs was to you. I’ve only lost one close friend and it took a long time to heal. For me, the comfort was in knowing that God’s mercies are new every morning.

    Comment by Gwynne — April 20, 2006 @ 6:07 pm

  3. Thanks, guys. I appreciate your visits and your comments. As with Jennifer’s blog, this one will stop being all grief-related soon. Not to say that I won’t talk about Dave – I’ll just be more lighthearted about it.

    This has been an amazing experience for me. Between the rainbow and the several other can’t-be-anything-else stories of signs others have seen, to the deep and complete comfort I felt when I prayed for strength just before I spoke at the funeral – I’m amazed at the parts of the world I’m just waking up to. There’s no way I could kept my own eyes dry while saying the things I did. But dry they were.

    Comment by Brian — April 20, 2006 @ 6:48 pm


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