March 19, 2006

Not Going as Planned

Filed under: beanquest — Brian @ 1:21 pm

Usually, people say that like it’s a problem – I don’t mean it that way here.

I’d thought of this blog as a way to help me figure out what my spiritual gift is, and, I’d hoped, how to use it. I thought of it as something I’d do for a little while, get the answer, and then be done. With the blog, I mean.

But I’m finding that keeping this blog limited to “the quest” is more limiting than I’d like. I don’t spend *all* of my time trying to figure this out. Usually, it’s just something I keep in mind throughout the day, looking for ways I can contribute. I have three things I’m actively trying (1 – soccer coach, 2 – drawing and painting 3 – web-ish stuff for my church.) This blog is supposed to help me be more diligent about it, but there’s no reason it has to be only that.

I also don’t know that I believe you only get one spiritual gift. Certainly if “drawing” is mine, there’s got to be another. Seems like that’s letting myself off easy. Some people are called to put themselves at great personal risk in missionary work in hostile countries, others to give up much of modern life and enter monestaries, and others to wrangle preschoolers in Sunday School, but I’m called to draw stuff? Maybe there’s more than one, and maybe “the one” is a composite.

So, I’m opening this up to more subjects, with the goals of having more fun, and getting to know my friends better (and vice versa) and being open to discovering other areas where I might contribute.

I think a gift is something you’re naturally good at – something you’re pulled towards. So, if I write about more of the things that are interesting to me, I’m more likely to see the connections between my interests that point me towards the real thing.



  1. Brian, I’m glad that you’re widening the scope of your blog. I think you’ll have more fun with it, while still accomplishing your original goals.

    I agree that many — if not all — Christians have more than one spiritual gift. But I’ve also observed through the years that God will grant gifts after one becomes involved in a specific kind of service or ministry. Sometimes, you’re presented with an opportunity — or a challenge — and if you step out in faith, even if you think you’re not equipped to do the job, you’ll find that you’ve somehow got the aptitude or ability or skill after all. That’s pretty cool.

    All I’m saying is that you don’t have to get too hung up over following a script (or creating a script). The Director already knows how to get your best work out of you!

    Comment by Eric — March 19, 2006 @ 9:07 pm

  2. Thanks, Eric. That’s pretty much what I’m thinking. The more I allow to be part of this, the more likely I am to find whatever it is I’m supposed to find.

    At first, I had an idea that this would be a short thing – a couple months at most. Now I’m not so sure. But I’m still excited about it – I still want to know. However long it takes, I feel like I’ll know when I need to know.

    So long as I keep paying attention.

    Comment by Brian — March 20, 2006 @ 6:56 am

  3. Not that I’ve found my bean yet, but I believe that we “find it” most easily when we are not looking for it. Like Eric said, we often seemingly stumble onto it when we’re busy doing “other” things. I also believe the key is listening to the small voice inside our head and paying attention, which is what you’re doing, setting a good example.

    As for “one bean” vs. many beans, I think that beans come and go over our lifetime and often serve different purposes along the way. Just keep fertilizing the roots. :-)

    Comment by Gwynne — March 22, 2006 @ 10:49 pm

  4. Yeah, I think that’s the thing: pay attention, but don’t get hung up on looking.

    Comment by Brian — March 23, 2006 @ 7:10 am

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