Carl Spackler, Take One

Comments here and at Jennifer’s place have netted two suggestions for mole “control”: a fine looking spring-loaded spike system (ignore the domain name in that link) and powdered fox pee urine.

	Positives on the spikes: 1 - evil-looking 2 - retains evidence of effectiveness …	Negatives on the spikes: 1 - might impale other stuff 2 - gotta mail-order it
	Positives on the feral cat pee urine: 1 - It’s a powdered liquid, which is always good for a brain-teaser. 2 - While we’re brain-teasing, how do they collect this stuff? I want to support whoever’s job that is, just out of sympathy and the hope that they might invite me to come observe the process some day. 3 - It’s called “rodent powder” - as though reconstituting it would result in rodents, and not sewage.	Negatives on the evaporated feline excretions: 1 - gotta mail-order it. 2 - no direct evidence of effictiveness. Gotta wait and see.

All of which leads, clearly, to chewing gum:

I read on the Internet that if you poke Juicy Fruit gum (not just any gum) into the trails of the moles, the moles go away. I have been unable to gain clarity on exactly how this works, but it offers the following advantages:

1 - Inexpensive.
2 - This is not gum’s intended purpose.
3 - Wrigley’s is from Chicago, and therefore deserves my support.
4 - This will be funnier than the other options if it works.

These outweigh the fact that this method comes with the same downside as the cat drippings: no body.

Ten pieces poked into the tunnels (which are more extensive than I last checked. My whole backyard is squishy.)

Here we go, mole.